Seeking peace and progress

I'm realizing that sometimes the distance between blogs is because I'm so busy I don't take the time to stop and write. Other times, I've wimped out and chosen not to write because I'm in a melancholy mood. I take pride in being optimistic and positive, so it's difficult for me to take a moment and admit that this is hard and in the wise words of Lauren, life isn't fair. The past week was one of those times. I can't really pinpoint why - although it was a very strange week.

For those following the news, Microsoft had the first round of lay-offs in company history. Unfortunately, my dear friend that I've worked with the past 8 years was one of the unlucky few. I think she has taken the news better than I have. I deeply appreciate my employer and recognize the reality of our dire economy. Logically - I totally get it. Personally - it totally stinks to see great people now looking for work in this very same dire economy. I am also incredibly grateful/guilty that my job is secure and we can continue to count on the same wonderful health benefits for Taylor. It is such a gift and truly unmatched, so for our family, it would be tragic to lose this benefit. Thankfully, I'm safe and sound (other than really missing my friend for our typical Monday lunch). She and her family did come over to our house Sunday night and we had a great time - the grand finale was a rousing lip synch to High School Musical by all 5 kids - they made it through 4 songs before we ended the concert. Lauren and Jacob certainly would have lasted the entire CD if we didn't cut them off (school night and all).

The other strangely odd occurrence is that our dear friends had to give their little girl a brain MRI last week and I was so worried for them (thankfully their results turned out normal). Their experience reminded me of our awful ordeal and how terrible it was to see our 8 month-old baby hooked to tubes and IV's for this procedure (did I mention they told us there was a 50% chance she would stop breathing while under anesthesia due to her small size, but it was no big deal? When you're thinking possible brain tumor, you really have no choice). Of course, while we didn't get normal results, they could have been far worse. I will never forget the gut-wrenching call from the doctor who told me the news about her brain. It was fall-to-your-knees emotional and I hope to never experience that shock or immediate sadness again. I cry now to think about it because it was such a helpless feeling - your baby is missing part of her brain and there is nothing you can do. Of course, now we feel much more hopeful and we're really counting on a wonderful life for Taylor. This week has tested my positivity for some reason though, but I'm trying to break out of my slump.

This week-end didn't help, because Taylor was very sick with a bad cold. When she's sick she always seems much more vulnerable (as all kids do), but with her, it makes her seem even further behind her peers. She had such a bad cold on Friday, she was a face full of fluid - eyes tearing, nose running and mouth teething. The fluid stopped on Saturday, but she was very lethargic and spent a good portion of the day sleeping on my chest. She also threw up on me several times because mucus in her throat triggers her gag reflex - ahhh, the joys of sick kids. We see Lauren and Jacob and their greath health and know they had the same tough few years of sickness, so we just have to help her through it. Of course, she's exposed to a lot of germs from her them, their friends, her school and therapy. The poor kid's immune system doesn't have much of a chance right now.

Lauren and Jacob had a great week-end. They went skiing with David and continue to love their lessons. Lauren and David had their monthly Y-Guides meeting (Girl Scouts for fathers and daughters basically) and Lauren went ice skating for the first time. I hear she held the railing very well and David had lots of nice hand-holding on the ice. She had fun and Jacob and I had a nice tea party while Taylor napped.

So, the kids continue to have a good time and Taylor is feeling much better. I'm certain this week will be better for Taylor (and me;). And, next week we're off to Hawaii and we're really looking forward to a relaxing vacation (and some sun:).

Here is a good verse I read that spoke to me from Luke 11:9-10:
"So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened."

My prayer tonight is for peace, patience and progress for Taylor. Join me if you'd like;)