what makes a happy life?

Yesterday, out of the blue, Lauren asked me "Do you think Taylor has a happy life?" How deep and introspective my little gal can be sometimes. I answered "yes, I really hope so". It was so timely because I have been thinking a lot about this question this summer - in fact, it has been a huge part of my inner thoughts.

This summer I have tried to come to terms with accepting the reality of Taylor's life - challenging because we can't ever know what our kid's lives will be, and even more uncertain in the case of Taylor. When we first found out about her condition, my approach was blind optimisim - we could give her every resource available and would do everything we could for Taylor to be "normal". Over the summer, I've realized that this mindset may not be good for Taylor - or the rest of our family. As it turns out, her life can be wonderful and fabulous, even if it is not the "normal" parents typically dream of. Step by step, I have worked hard to accept that Taylor will be blessed with a precious life - even if it is different than what I would have dreamed of. This doesn't mean I have given up hope - but instead, I have chosen to embrace Taylor for what she is today, and what she may be. It is OK if she doesn't go to college, or live indepentedly, or get married, or any of the other million things you hope for your kids. I still pray she will - but have realized that it is important for all of us to accept that her life can be grand - no matter what. The real gifts are found in - can you smile every day? do you feel loved? can you laugh? do you have a happy laugh? This is the unconditional love that parents strive for - I will love you for you, no matter what.

This mindset is so important - I read a wise story about how we can easily miss the joy of today - every little laugh - every precious memory - because we are so worried about what the future might - or might not - bring. The guidance was "don't be so worried about the future, that you miss the joy of today". I have tried to embrace this - for all of us. At the conference David went to he saw first-hand how varied and different kid's lives can be - and how much joy they brought their families regardless. Taylor is truly a gift and rather than blindly pushing her to the goal of "normal", I am striving for the balance of helping her, while ensuring she has a "happy life". We love her so dearly, and Lauren and Jacob too - the happiness of our whole family is the balance we are striving for.

Tonight I know without a doubt that she is a gift and she is happy. It's our job to help her be happy forever, along with the rest of our family.